I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital and I'm really grateful for the experience.
It was a spiritual wake-up call to slow down, be still, and take more time for self-care and relaxation.
It was also an experience of wonderful realization, empowering my intuition, and remembering to listen to my body. I just recorded a podcast episode of what happened and how I felt.
So here's a high-level overview of what happened…
I've been working and creating things like crazy this year and it's been awesome, exciting and scary at the same time. I wrote a book, moved from Vegas to The Hamptons, launched several programs, and ignored all signs of burnout. I've also been craving community which is one of the reasons I launched The Visionary Mastermind and I get to connect with such incredible and inspiring entrepreneurs.
To be clear, I have not done this alone. At Soul Space Media we have an amazing team of superhumans from our copywriter to project management, CFO, and COO – these people are extraordinary. Sean and I move quickly and they have kept up with our pace, but it's not sustainable and my body has been telling me this for several months. Many of the signs I have ignored.
At 3 AM on Thanksgiving morning, I woke up with really bad pains in my chest. In fact, it was like a pain I had never experienced before so I was very scared about what was happening to me. I waited to see if the pains would ease for a few hours, and when they didn't, I woke my husband up to drive me to the hospital.
I spent 7 hours in the hospital with a drip in my arm, blood tests. CT scan, x-ray, medication and several specialists not able to figure out why the pain wasn't stopping. Then I met an amazing doctor that asked me about my emotions and the space I have for self-care in my life. I cried it out and the pain started to ease. My heart chakra felt like it was opening.
What I realized is that I have been not taking enough time to rest. My output to the world is much greater than the input to myself and something was a little out of balance.
It's important to remember that when you have your body sending you messages that you listen to it. For weeks I had a weird little twitch in my right eye. I thought it was because I hadn't been wearing my glasses as much as I should have. And then my ears has some issue because I went to the beach when it was really cold. I had a weird buzzing noise happened. And then my chest pains started. The message? I was to slow down and feel my feelings.
I'm so grateful for this experience to listen to myself and my intuition in a whole new way. I'm also grateful to have experienced the difference between mentalizing self-compassion and actually showing up with compassion to choose a different and more balanced path.