Life shows up for all of us in various miraculous forms and lessons. For many, it’s painful experiences and relationships that call our souls to rise up and grow from the apparent suffering and wrongdoings. As humans, and as the REM song reminds us: “Everybody Hurts.”

But there’s this thing called BLAME that can keep people stuck in self-sabotaging cycles for decades. This inability to detach from the role of “victim” is because the story is so severely engraved on their consciousness that they might not even be aware that it’s blocking their flow of energy. It’s a pattern that requires some deep bravery to be broken.

Someone did THIS to me, and so I must BLAME them and hold on to the wrongness of that energy for the rest of my life. It’s not my fault.

When we can’t let go, this energy stagnates in our bodies and creates illness and physical disharmony.

But where does one begin the process of forgiveness?

You see, the thing about forgiveness isn’t that it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll forget what happened, it just means that you don’t give the other party power to restrict the growth of your life experience anymore. When this light bulb flashes in your awareness, then you move into the new and empowering role of “survivor”. You release yourself from the burden and start to flourish.

A victim will blame, which perpetuates the cycle of pain.

A survivor will reflect and make peace with the present moment because they are grateful that they are still here to enjoy their life.


The difference between the two is extremely vast.

We must remember that the past doesn’t exist anymore. On a metaphysical level, every time you energetically charge the past you resurrect it and call it into your current reality again. It’s like setting the same song to repeat over and over again in iTunes.

Some themes I have dealt with in my own life include sexual abuse, neglect, domestic violence, family addiction, recurrent miscarriage, infidelity and the list goes on. But does it define me and who I am in the world? It does for a time and then it’s time to let it go (with love) after it’s been processed.

With compassion, I completely understand that different people have different ways of moving through pain in life. However, life is too short to make other people responsible for the way we feel. Life is too short to live in the past and not move forward into a beautiful new shiny future.

So next time you feel that need to feel like a victim, snap out of it and look for something to be grateful for right now in the moment. There is so much to be grateful for.

With Love.

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