This week’s MANIFEST Q+A came in from at least six people around the world that had the exact same question rattling around in their hearts…
Is it possible to manifest an ex back?
The simple and short answer is yes.
The complicated and more sustainable answer is NO… that might not be a very good idea UNTIL you do some deep soul searching within and figure out if you’re wanting this for the right reasons.
Today I wanted to offer that invitation for introspection so that if you find yourself wanting to manifest your ex back, then you won’t be doing it from a place of wanting to seek safety, control or approval over your former lover.
An ex is a dangerous creature – they have the ability to trigger deep emotional reactions, trigger your need for love and have the power to make you crave connection that you know you once had. An ex is your default setting – a safe place where you know that you could be happy instead of navigating the unseen world of uncertainty when looking for new love.
I went back to my ex husband at least 8 times before I finally slapped myself out of my fear of letting him go. You just know in your heart when it’s time to move on.
I knew Mr Ex. wasn’t right for me. I loved him deeply, but we were so abusive to each other because we were both desperately unhappy.
Counselling or therapy of any kind would have been like pushing shit up a hill or beating a dead unicorn.
During some of our arguments he would yell at me and say things like:
“You can’t leave me, because who would love you with two kids, no money and a belly that looks like yours?”
I allowed his words to chip away at my self worth and I didn’t believe that I was worthy enough to experience deep and soulful love. Staying with him would be my best option, the safest bet…or so I thought at the time.
I use this quote in my SoulMate Course:
“You can only accept the love into your life that you think you deserve and have wired yourself to attract.”
After I left my 10-year marriage, I had to re-wire everything in my heart and my mind. After I finally moved, on I attracted a man that loves me and shows up for me on a daily basis (it’s been 6 years next year).
What I know for sure is that Sean (my beautiful soul mate) was a reward from the Universe that I manifested for being BRAVE enough to know when to move on to another landscape to learn about love. I was ready.
I truly believe that you can manifest anything your heart desires if you are open and if you are brave.
However, when it comes to the free will of others and the path that they have also karmically carved out for themselves, then I feel that there is no way under the sun that you can manipulate their vibration to be in alignment with yours. You just can’t.
My ex could have meditated every day, created vision boards of me, said affirmations until he was blue in the face, and there would have been no hope in hell that I would have gone back after I chose LOVE (for myself) over FEAR of being alone.
Instead of placing focus on how to manifest an ex back I would lovingly invite you to ask yourself some of these powerful questions to really examine if you want to reconnect with that old flame instead of being open to the possibility of new love…
1. Do I really love this person for the right reasons or am I just wanting them back to possess them and avoid the pain of seeing them be happy with someone else?
2. Am I able to let go of the past and create a new future with this person? Am I able to communicate this to them personally so they fully support me and my desires?
(Hint: If they can’t hear you and support you then it’s not a good match.)
3. Can I imagine myself blissfully in love with someone else that I can grow old together with?
(Hint: Unless you OWN your shit then you will experience the same shit with someone else. It keeps coming back until you fully get it.)
4. Could I be happy without my ex?
(Hint: If the answer is NO, then you have some work to do because your ex – or anyone for that matter – is NOT responsible for your happiness. You are.)
5. Do I feel like a failure because the relationship ended? Does wanting my ex back fool me into thinking I get to have a do-over and finally get it right?
6. What kind of love could I give to myself that would replace the need to chase after an old relationship?
7. Am I okay and truly open to ALL possibilities?
(Hint: If you are then things will manifest into your life a fuck-load faster).
I hope this helps you if you find yourself wanting to open up the possibility of rekindling a lost love.
I’m not saying it’s not possible. I’m just saying that you need to approach it with the right intentions and fall deeply in love with yourself first. xo
Affirmation: I am worthy of true love.
If you'd like to know how to really set a powerful intention and help it to manifest faster, then you might love my Ancient Manifesting Ritual. This is part of the deep work that I did in order to clear my past and move forward into the future, one present moment at a time.