My new book is coming out in just a couple of weeks. Yes, BE THE LOVE is nearly here!
The writing process was quite grueling to be so honest with parts of my life that I’ve kept hidden. Most of you have seen my Goalcast video that shares my story of surviving 10 years of domestic violence, but there are other parts to the story as well. That’s what I’ve been writing about and can’t wait to share.
For instance, in this book, I’ll be sharing some not-so-nice ways that I have behaved in both my first marriage and my second marriage. Let’s just say it hasn’t been a bed of roses. I’m talking about (specifically) the way I operate during arguments. Actually, scrap that. I’m talking about the ways I needed to retrain myself with conflict resolution skills to have an extraordinary marriage to this day. I've been married for 9 years this year!
Marriages, relationships, unions of any sort require work – most importantly, a willingness to do the work.
Yes, we all have ups and downs in relationships. We fight, we disagree, we bicker, we argue. That doesn't make us horrible people, it makes us human. However, when you get into a pattern of painful communication then you can ruin your relationships so that it can never return to a mutual place of respect and love.
Dr. Phil once said that you can contribute to the relationship or contaminate it.
I was an active contaminant like a bad piece of pineapple left in the fridge too long.
There are 4 keys to saving your relationship that will be a total game changer.
1. Don’t blame your partner for how you feel
Own your emotions and take responsibility for them. This means comforting yourself and soothing yourself when you are expecting your partner to make everything better for you and fix something. Take your power back.
2. Cool your jets and never raise your voice
There is no excuse for abuse, ever. So when you shout at the person you love it shows great disrespect and loss of control. Yelling at your beloved just screams more about how you’re hurting and it never needs to escalate to this level. Hurt people, hurt people.
3. Seek mediation and support
There is no shame in seeking external support if you need it.
I’ve been to therapy, several hundred types of different therapy. I’ve invested in the highest level of mentorship for support in my marriage to Sean and it worked. It takes a village to support a union. You also both must want (and be willing to do whatever it takes) to get help together to pave a path forward for your love to survive and thrive.
4. Create a spark and a connection ritual
Spend time together if you love one another. Not on your phones! Actaully be present with one another and listen. The way a spark is reignited is to go out on a date night, or remember the reasons you fell in love in the first place.
There is no reason you should be defensive or believe that your partner is out to hurt you or compete with you.
In summary, just remember that LOVE can never be lost. It evolves, changes and helps us to grow.
Transmute Your Pain into Power
Are you going through a hard time in your life right now?
As I mentioned, I’ve been there, too.
And I have good news:
Whatever it is that you’re dealing with right now, you can get through it…and you can learn to transmute the raw emotional energy of your pain into greater personal power.
If you want to learn how, I’ll teach you in this free 5-day event.
Believe it or not, I’ve been through some incredibly hard times in my life—domestic violence, recurrent miscarriage, addiction, guilt, eating disorders, infidelity, and more.
It wasn’t easy. But in the process of overcoming these hardships, I learned so much about how to clear the obstacles that are standing between you and your heart’s deepest desires.
And now that I’ve done that, it’s my life’s mission to share what I’ve learned, so that others can benefit from my experiences.
That’s what my upcoming Be the Love Challenge is all about.
It’s a free, 5-day program where I’ll walk you through the steps you need to overcome whatever challenges you’re facing in your life—so that you can find your way through to the other side and finally manifest happiness and abundance in your life.
So if you’re facing a challenge in your life—no matter how big or small—this Challenge is for you.
Join me, and learn how to transmute your pain into power.
Sign up for the free Be the Love Challenge now »