The Deeply Spiritual Relationship Cycle of Remembering and Forgetting

All relationships have their seasons. There will be times in your life when you feel all loved up, and then there will be dry spells when you wonder how you can kick-start that beautiful spark again.

A few years ago, my husband and I were squabbling at regular intervals. We were experiencing some major stressful events in our lives and therefore there was no time to nurture our relationship. Our fuses and tempers were incredibly short. Speaking just on behalf of myself, this was a time when there was no time for me to practice self care and love and therefore my cup was too empty to flow over into Lovebug Land (the blissful relationship state where you are in extreme flow and gratitude). 

A dear friend shared with me a piece of soulful wisdom that literally re-framed and re-shaped the way I saw the constant cyclic unfolding of relationships. She said that as humans we’re either in a phase of remembering or forgetting. 

Here's a Facebook live I did on the theme to expand upon it more:

That is, we “remember” how deeply we adore our partner or we temporarily “forget” how deeply we adore our partner. The secret is to commit to activities, date nights and other fun stuff that prompts the deep and blissful process of remembering. It's also important to nurture ourselves through self-care so we have the resources to GIVE.

When you’re in a state of appreciation you REMEMBER.

When you’re disconnected from happy feelings, wallowing in expectations, self pity, and living too much in the past, you are a state of FORGETTING.

As humans we also tend to do this with the relationship we have with the Universe (or God). We go through phases where we forget the power we have to connect on an intimately deep level. And then the light-switch gets flipped back on all of a sudden and we remember how powerful and meaningful the connection actually is. All of a sudden there is this newfound sense of wonder and inspiration.

You see, the process of forgetting isn’t something that’s wrong. It’s actually a vital part of growing and riding the beautiful wave and contrasting energies of life. Just as there are different phases of the moon, the tides and even menstrual cycles, so too is the beautiful cyclic nature of feeling the elated highs that the human experience has to offer.

Forgetting makes remembering even sweeter. It’s an integral part of the evolution of your consciousness.


Question: So what if you are in a phase of remembering and your partner is in a phase of forgetting? (I get this question quite often).

Answer: Then turn it into a game to gently prompt them to remember. You could flip through old photo albums, be more affectionate, praise your lover more. But be sure to let go of the expectancy that you need to always be on the same page at the same time. If true love is present, a natural flow and sync will occur. And if you’ve done it once before you can do it again.

Another golden nugget of wisdom to consider is that the more you remember and take time to appreciate and connect to your lover, yourself and the Universe the less often you go through the periods of forgetting.

Remember, setting the intention to be in a state of “remembering” more often is really important. Make sure you download a copy of my FREE intention setting worksheet that has been downloaded nearly 200,000 times by people all over the world. It's the first step in the manifesting process to spark a deeper connection with yourself, your loved ones and the Universe. xo