My husband Sean and I tried a little experiment that had some surprising results. For the last month we took a vow of silence in our bedroom. That meant that there was to be no verbal communication between us at all. Our goal was to generate the energy of sacred space in our bedroom.
We started out lip reading and writing notes, but then decided that we weren’t going to communicate that way, instead we took a ‘Charade’ type approach and created various gestures.
Needless, to say there was so much laughter, meaningful connection and presence that we cultivated that took our relationship to a new level.
The other rule was that we weren’t allowed our iPhones in the bedroom either. So there was no Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest. Instead, we read books…actual, flip the paper, books. Remember those? Also, it meant that the absent distracting energy of electronics allowed for more ‘us' time – if you catch my drift. We've been fully committed to spending as much quality time together as possible since our baby girl Lulu will be born next week.
The reason we tried this…
Too often couples suffer because they don't create space for quality, meaningful, connected time with one another. We're always on our phones, on Insta or Pinterest or reading tech articles about the latest Apple release. There sometimes isn't enough eye contact and full attentiveness. This experiment transformed our bedroom into a place of rest, rejuvenation and meaningful connection.
During our experiment we noticed the following things started to happen…
We began to become more telepathic.
There were certain looks that we would give on another that indicated that we knew exactly what the other one was talking about, sometimes before we even motioned a gesture.
We also didn’t have any space for drama, talking about business stuff after hours, the kids, the dogs, or just talking for the sake of talking. We totally transformed our bedroom into our own sanctuary for connection. We knew that when we stepped out of our space that we could talk and catch up on the things we really wanted to say to one another.
There were times when we forgot about the vow of silence where we quickly slapped our hands over our mouths, laughed about it and then got back on track. It was so much fun on so many levels. We now know that we can try this again when we feel it's time to shake things up a little and rekindle our spark. I think we'll start talking again, but the new anti-iPhone/electronics policy will remain in place.
The energy of peacefulness we have through not having social media in bed with us is truly blissful.
This experiment is highly recommended if you feel a sense of disconnection from your partner and you want to try and initiate more playfulness and connection. Sean and I shared so many laughs – it's well worth an attempt if you're both willing to give it a go.
Would you try this? Or does it sound crazy to you?