Happy Valentine’s Day! In my humble opinion every single day should be a chance to show up and love your honey – not just a retail-driven day designated for red lingerie, heart-shaped chocolates and teddy-bears.
It could be that life is about to change radically for us leading up to the birth of our daughter soon, so my husband and I have been taking time to connect more and nurture our relationship. We know that our marriage is a living, breathing, ongoing work-in-progress that requires daily love and comittment.
Over our last five years (nearly) that we’ve been together, we’ve invested in coaching programs, written an entire course about how to attract your soulmate, written to our mentor for advice and unravelled some pretty groundbreaking truths. Sean and I both found ourselves on the same page time and time again – we are in this for life.
Firstly, because we love one another. And secondly we’re both committed to doing whatever it takes to make the one another the most important person on the entire planet. This even means putting one another before the children. We are unified in showing them how loving one another and having a strong marriage is the one the greatest gifts we can give them.
So I sent Sean (my husband) this article.
“We want intimacy and avoid sex. Or we fear intimacy and crave sex.”
And he read it, we tried it. Every. Single. Suggestion.
Now I’m not going to dive into the saucy details, but I will share with you the process we started with (which wasn't during making love) which was to try soul gazing and stare into each other’s eyes for as long as possible. Have you tried is with your lover?
Oh my, it was a soul-changing two hours.
The eye gazing was a lot tougher and intimate than I ever could have imagined. At first, we were both laughing and found it tough to settle. I was fidgeting, not able to keep still or keep my eyes locked with Sean’s, they would flitter all over the place. We both started to really ‘see’ one another, and I’m talking about the type of seeing where you can see the fabric of spirit starting to twinkle in tiny particles that transform you. We forged through various stages ranging from laughter, playfulness, curiosity and then tears.
It was the most vulnerable I have ever been with another human being – he could see ALL of me. What was the biggest surprise was how much of a wall I had created around this level of intimacy that we had dabbled with in the past but hadn’t consciously made time for. How hard can it be to truly stare into someone’s eyes?
There was a new level of compassion and connectedness that was unlocked.
We saw the discomfort and the walls in one another break down.
I witnessed the flow of our masculine and feminine energies – they merged and played with one another as if it was supercharging our life force and not only ours but the love and life-force that animates our daughter growing with me.
Life is all about peeling back the layers to uncover a new level of consciousness and connection to the divine within.
The message you can take home from this blog post? If you can’t be vulnerable, you can’t be intimate. If you can’t truly be intimate then you’ll be blocking the beautiful soul-growth that can naturally unfold when you’re in a loving committed relationship with another human being.