The baby will be here in December 2016. The last three months have been scary to say the very least. Moment by moment I’ve had to choose LOVE over fear and it’s been a great opportunity to do some deep spiritual inner work and healing. My husband has been an ever-present source of support and wisdom. That man continuously blows me away by the love he shows up with when I need it most. He’s a superhero and I adore him.
If you know my story you’ll remember that I’ve had 6 miscarriages in total. Five of them happened before I had my daughter Lulu early last year. The doctors in Australia didn’t know what was wrong with me, and so when I managed to stay pregnant with a healthy baby girl they said it was a MIRACLE because of a mutated gene they finally discovered I have called MTHFR. Also, when I was much younger, I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovaries) and endometriosis.
Note: there is very little research on this condition and only a few countries correlate recurrent loss with MTHFR.
Fast forward to 2016. I had just finished writing my latest book about healing your heart from miscarriage to miracle (official title to be revealed soon) when my husband and I started the conversation about possibly calling in another child from the spirit realm. Keep in mind, as I write these words my daughter is only 15 months old, I am nearly 37, and my other two children are 10 and 14.
Sean and I decided that we’d ‘try’ and see what would happen. We knew that we’d have to be brave. After all, it meant that I could possibly experience more losses. I knew it would be a soul challenge, but yet I was up for the adventure. After a ONE TRY of soulful, intentional baby making (yes this might be TMI) I got pregnant!
I knew almost straight away because of our dog Cookie. Every time I’ve been pregnant she sleeps outside my door as if she’s guarding me. As soon as I saw her outside my room I knew I needed to buy a pregnancy test and pee on a stick. I waited for my Prime Now order to arrive with the test without anyone knowing and I secretly went to the bathroom to do the deed.
And it said…
Two pink lines = PREGNANT.
I felt shaky, excited, scared, over the moon. I wanted to process the news before telling Sean but he came into the bathroom to brush his teeth and I looked a little odd like I was guilty of something.
“What did you do?” He asked me.
I showed him the positive pregnancy test. We hugged and cried tears of joy together.
We went out to dinner that night and saw a giant rainbow! This has always been one of our powerful twin flame signs of alignment. I knew it was a sign from our soul baby that we were now on an adventure together.
In conjunction with the oh-so-persistent morning sickness, I’ve had questions flood my mind over the last 3 months about how this pregnancy just seemed to manifest so effortlessly. I feel I’ve done some very deep healing around the trauma I’ve experienced in the past. Part of that was writing my latest book. It was extremely cathartic and I can’t wait to share it with people that are trying to call in their soul babies.
I also feel that I penned a very strong intention in my Intention Setting Worksheet that I completed on the 31st of Dec, 2015:
“I want to easily get pregnant with a healthy baby by Xmas 2016. No loss or sadness, it’s a really easy and effortless experience.”
Little did I know that I would be giving birth a year to the day (or thereabouts) that I set the intention. My affirmation over the last few months has been that the pregnancy doesn’t have to be difficult, because it doesn’t. It’s all about the way you approach the situation you are being faced with. I feel like the amount of LOVE that I let into my life, and the joy I experience on a daily basis helps to get through one day to the next. It is a conscious choice though. Trust me, I had some really dark days where I cried and wondered what the hell would happen but I allowed myself to feel the lows and celebrate the highs.
So whatever you’re facing in your life right now that is teaching you how to ride the beautiful wave of uncertainty, I want you to know that you’re not alone. The process of not knowing how something will turn out is part of a deep unravelling of spiritual growth. It stings, it’s frustrating and it’s unsettling – but it’s seasonal. This too shall pass. xo