Choosing Stillness In The Eye Of The Storm

Two days ago my Dad nearly died. He called me from the hospital. Each word he uttered left him in agony. Pneumonia is extremely dangerous for someone with a history of lung issues. I could hear in his voice that he was scared. The sudden news sent me into a mad panic. I didn’t know what to do.

When a parent is all alone on the other side of the world, and in a hospital bed, you feel helpless. You feel powerless.

What if they die? What if you can’t say goodbye? What do I tell the kids? How will I get there in time? How do I stay strong and not show my fear?

Just a few hours after Dad called me he went into distress. Apparently there were 15 people surrounding him. They said that they would give him five hours to improve or he would have to be placed on life support.

I used Skype to call the nurses, the doctors, the specialists and anyone that would listen to make sure that I was kept in the loop about his condition.

The next morning I had a pre-existing appointment with the department of immigration. This appointment was booked weeks earlier to fill out forms to finalize my residency.

“Can I leave the country? My Dad is gravely ill right now.”

“No, you can’t. Your Visa has expired. You’ll get locked out of the country for up to four months.”

My heart sank. I wanted to react. To scream. To blame and to change the landscape of the harsh reality I was facing. My Dad could die and I wouldn’t be able to see him or say goodbye if I needed to. I’m his closest relative that looks out for him. My mother is out of the picture and my sister is suffering from her lifelong battle with addiction. I knew that I need the option to be with Dad if he needed me. Had this appointment not been scheduled I would have flown to Australia and then been kept away from my kids for months! Talk about Divine Timing!

My husband Sean was sitting next to me at the immigration appointment. The moment we realized that we were in a difficult situation was the moment we both decided to guide our energy to get a different result. We needed a miracle, and fast. We were both very aware of keeping our energy very calm and very still.

We chose stillness in the eye of the storm.

“I’ll give you three months.” Said the immigration officer. 

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

We couldn’t believe that we were granted a three month window on the grounds of compassion.

I saw this as a sign that I should fly to Australia and prepare for the worst. Sean found a plane ticket that meant I would have left America within hours. We found a hotel and I was going to pack like a crazy person and head home to Melbourne.

Something told me that if I went to Australia then Dad could get worse. I know it sounds silly, but I wanted to wait to hear an official update from the doctors. This is what I asked one nurse…

“If he was your dad, would you fly from America to Australia to be with him? Do you think it’s serious? Do you think he really needs me there?”

She said she’d know more in two hours as it could go either way. I waited and held my breath.

We were all praying for a miracle. We needed him to turn a corner. After all, he was due to fly to Vegas to meet baby Ava Moon next month. In our minds there was no way in hell that was even going to be a possibility.

I decided not to book a ticket and react. Instead, I tuned into stillness. I visualized my Dad healing and feeling better. I even did my regular live Q+A Session for my beautiful Manifesting Academy students. Their energy helped to keep my spirits high.

And then I got the call…

“I’m a respiratory specialist at the Austin Hospital, is that Sarah?”

She was calling me from my Dad’s phone. My stomach was in my throat. Each second felt like an eternity, waiting for the news.

“I wanted to let you know about his condition and tell you that he’s improving hourly. We expect he’ll make a full recovery.”

She even told me that he’ll be tired, but he might even be able to make it to Vegas next month for a visit!

The relief was so sweet. All of the burden of keeping family members in the loop, being on hold with the hospital switchboard and not knowing if I had to be on a plane to Melbourne just lifted from my shoulders.

My Dad is awesome. He’s nearly 71 years old and he’s a fighter. Even though I was on the rollercoaster of feeling powerless, scared and concerned, I still kept my energy still and calm. There’s a strength that can be fueled by fear and chaos. When we learn how to leverage this vibrational experience we see that The Universe works through us, to boost our strength in our times of need. It’s a beautiful thing. As humans, the fear of loss is unavoidable. It’s the LOVE we hold and lead with that makes the biggest difference to be okay no matter what unfolds.


 

Thoughts?