Happy Valentine’s Day! In my humble opinion every single day should be a chance to show up and love your honey – not just a retail-driven day designated for red lingerie, heart-shaped chocolates and teddy-bears.

It could be that life is about to change radically for us leading up to the birth of our daughter soon, so my husband and I have been taking time to connect more and nurture our relationship. We know that our marriage is a living, breathing, ongoing work-in-progress that requires daily love and comittment.

Over our last five years (nearly) that we’ve been together, we’ve invested in coaching programs, written an entire course about how to attract your soulmate, written to our mentor for advice and unravelled some pretty groundbreaking truths. Sean and I both found ourselves on the same page time and time again – we are in this for life.

Firstly, because we love one another. And secondly we’re both committed to doing whatever it takes to make the one another the most important person on the entire planet. This even means putting one another before the children. We are unified in showing them how loving one another and having a strong marriage is the one the greatest gifts we can give them.

So I sent Sean (my husband) this article.

“We want intimacy and avoid sex. Or we fear intimacy and crave sex.”

And he read it, we tried it. Every. Single. Suggestion.

Now I’m not going to dive into the saucy details, but I will share with you the process we started with (which wasn’t during making love) which was to try soul gazing and stare into each other’s eyes for as long as possible. Have you tried is with your lover?

Oh my, it was a soul-changing two hours.

The eye gazing was a lot tougher and intimate than I ever could have imagined. At first, we were both laughing and found it tough to settle. I was fidgeting, not able to keep still or keep my eyes locked with Sean’s, they would flitter all over the place. We both started to really ‘see’ one another, and I’m talking about the type of seeing where you can see the fabric of spirit starting to twinkle in tiny particles that transform you. We forged through various stages ranging from laughter, playfulness, curiosity and then tears.

It was the most vulnerable I have ever been with another human being – he could see ALL of me. What was the biggest surprise was how much of a wall I had created around this level of intimacy that we had dabbled with in the past but hadn’t consciously made time for. How hard can it be to truly stare into someone’s eyes?

There was a new level of compassion and connectedness that was unlocked.

We saw the discomfort and the walls in one another break down.

I witnessed the flow of our masculine and feminine energies – they merged and played with one another as if it was supercharging our life force and not only ours but the love and life-force that animates our daughter growing with me.

Life is all about peeling back the layers to uncover a new level of consciousness and connection to the divine within.

The message you can take home from this blog post? If you can’t be vulnerable, you can’t be intimate. If you can’t truly be intimate then you’ll be blocking the beautiful soul-growth that can naturally unfold when you’re in a loving committed relationship with another human being.

7 Things Women Should Never Apologize For

never-sorry

As women, sometimes we end up saying sorry for things that don’t warrant forgiveness or approval seeking. Why should we be sorry for empowered choices that we make or natural stuff that happens? 

Following my wildly popular article called 10 Things You Should Never Apologise for For…Ever (over 46k likes!!) I wanted to expand upon the content and add a few more things. Here are 7 Things Women Should Never Apologize for.

1. Sexuality and feminine expression

The beauty of being a woman (or a man for that matter) is the choice you have to express yourself sexually in the world or in a relationship with another human being. You should never feel the need to say sorry for the way you express yourself in this department unless it breaks a mutual commitment you have made with someone. Also, the way you express your feminine essence is never to be apologized for. The Divine Feminine energy can manifest in a multitude of different and beautiful ways that can only be defined by you. 

2. Wanting babies

For many women (not all) this is a biological urge to carry and birth a baby, or at least nurture something or someone. If you haven’t had children yet and want them, never feel the need to apologize for your desires. There are a vast number of ways that nurturing energy can manifest in your life – from having pets, plants and contributing to the world around you. The key is to stay true to what you think your soul needs in order to expand. Babies usually appear in perfect divine timing.

3. Not wanting babies

As mentioned above, there are many ways being a nurturer can manifest in the world and not liking or wanting your own children is perfectly fine. Never feel the need to justify the reasons you don’t want to have kids. There are way too many people out there in the world that procreated from a place of insecurity, accident or their own limiting beliefs. Owning your decisions is beautiful and authentic.

4. Making more money

Never say sorry for being able to draw prosperity into your life. It will create a block in the pipeline and scare the money off. Allow for abundant energy to flow by being fearless in your faith that making money is your birthright and super-easy. 

5. Changing our minds

A free-thinking human being’s mind is totally allowed to change their minds. This isn’t restricted to male or female. If your heart is in tune with your desires, then your mind can totally change the course of action intended…unless you change your mind. 

6. That time of the month

“Sorry, I’m hormonal. I’ve got my period.”

Bullshit. This is total bullshit. Apologizing for a scared ritual that needs to occur on a monthly basis for a woman is like saying sorry for every poop you’ve ever released from the depth of your bowels. Hormones are beautiful teachers, that allow us to ride the wave of life and navigate a clear path. It’s the contrast of feeling happy and sad in life that paves the future.

7. Being who you really are

Whoever you are, whatever you want to do – never apologize for the way your heart expresses itself in the world. Your role is to be who you really are – unapologetically – and cultivate love and compassion from the people around you that nurture and support your dreams.

I felt the need to share this very personal letter publicly to not only honour my amazing husband (Sean Patrick Simpson) but to honour all women that have carried life into the world. Right now as I write these words I’m about 8 months pregnant – feeling swollen, oh-so-tired yet excited to meet our baby girl in the next month or so. Sean and I called her spirit forth with such powerful intention that it’s going to be so very very special to stare into her eyes very soon and say ‘welcome’.

This letter really represents true love to me and it fills me with such immense gratitude that my man is such a profoundly beautiful soul. I am thrilled that our daughter will be born into such a strong union. As you read this, think of the ways you could express gratitude, awe and wonder to the special people in your life.

Dear Sarah,

I was writing this as both a letter to you, as well as an open statement to all pregnant woman that I was going to share on Facebook. The problem was, my words kept turning back to you and OUR baby specifically 🙂 So I’m just going to send this to you my love.

You are so beautiful.

I say it to you nearly every day. But in case you haven’t ‘heard it’ recently, please know this. Please feel it. You are so incredibly beautiful.

The journey of pregnancy, for both a man and a woman, is an amazing one. It’s beautiful, it’s surreal, and one that is truly hard to understand and fully grasp without having gone through it.

But it’s also a hard one.

For her – the body goes through so much during that 9 months. It’s growing a human for God’s sake! Emotionally, physically – it’s an intense experience.

For him and her – your ENTIRE world is about to change. Mixed in with all the joy, excitement and anticipation for the future, there is uncertainty, fear, and questions that arise such as, “how the f**k are we going to do this?!!”

The good news is, billions and billions of people before you ‘did it’. And it’ll ALL be okay! In fact, it’ll be the ride of a lifetime.

But I digress…

The point of this is you, now, the beautiful, beautiful pregnant woman.

My God, you’re the most beautiful being I have ever seen.

The way you are.

The way you evolve with our baby over those 9 months.

The way you care for, nourish and love that soul within you.

I say with absolute truth Sarah, you have never been so beautiful.

I love you belly boombah. 

Oh gosh, see why I love him so much and I had to share this? Being respected,validated and ‘seen’ (truly seen) by your partner/lover/husband/wife is honestly one of the greatest gifts a relationship can bring as long as you also are willing to do the same. xo

A hard hitting truth jumped up and smacked me in the soul last week…

I have experienced emotional blocks around honouring masculine energy. Or, in the very least understanding it.

For as long as I can remember I have been so focussed on honouring the divine feminine, tuning into the importance of female empowerment and surrounding myself with pink, sparkly, energy that I ignored and honestly poo-pooed the divine masculine in both myself and others around me.

When I had my ‘lightbulb moment’ with this I knew that I needed to start shifting some beliefs in order to be a better wife to my husband, a better mother to my 13-year old son and a better mother to my two daughters.

Here are 5 Ways to Embrace Masculine Energy That Will Transform Your Relationship With Men…

1. Release your patterning and let go of the blocks

The emotional patterning of not honouring masculine energy has been heavily sculpted by my mother (love you Mum) that has ‘suffered’ and ‘put up’ with men for her entire life. She taught me how to roll my eyes, not trust men very much and on a subtle level think that they are stupid or could do something stupid at any given moment. Ouch! Now this is very real and raw to share, but it’s my hope that this new level of awareness will invite a new space for conscious understanding to unfold.  I’ve always accepted men into my life on a closer level that embodied the more ‘softer’ feminine qualities and really, this is kind of bullshit.

Once I saw that even the most subtle patterns within me to block masculine energy were there, I wanted to free myself of it immediately. 

Affirmation: I now support, cherish and acknowledge that men and women are different. Their innate energy must be honoured and I lovingly let go of all pre-conditioning from my past. Allow people to be who they are.

2. Honour the required masculine/feminine balance in your relationship and within yourself

I love men. Particularly, especially and unequivocally my man – he’s my magpie. However, the survival of the strength of our relationship is dependent on a very important element I feel like I have overlooked – the balance of our divine masculine and feminine energy. I’m now looking for ways to support and assist ways that masculine energy can thrive within our union. And my husband honours the feminine energy within me that is allowed space to be freely expressed. We are committed to creating the perfect flow. 

Affirmation: I allow space for divine masculine and feminine energy to flow freely as a true expression of our souls and our love.

3. Celebrate the differences. Party like it’s 1999

Yes, men are from Mars and women are from Venus but the contrast MUST be celebrated in order to be understood. Instead of condemning or demonising things or concepts you don’t understand, try and be compassionate and value the perspective your man is sharing. Sometimes they are clues to a whole new realm of beautiful possibilities and experiences you could share with one another.

Affirmation: I see you. All of you. I honour you no matter what. I’m all in. 

4. Don’t be bound by definitions or ‘shoulds’

Be prepared to re-wire what you THINK a man is and how you think he SHOULD behave. There are an infinite amount of ways that divine masculine energy can manifest in your life.

Affirmation: I freely allow my man to choose his own outlets of masculine expression. It’s not my place to restrict his energetic growth. Being ‘manly’ is not up to me to define.

5. Praise, acknowledgement and making him feel significant mean everything

I read this beautiful line from Danielle Laporte’s most recent post: ‘Men work better if you enjoy them.’ And I think this is such profound truth.

Men love praise – they love to feel valued. In fact, this is definitely not bound by gender. Everyone loves to feel significant to their partner or significant others. If you see him doing something that embodies his true essence, tell him, praise him and love him for it.

Making your lover certain they are number 1 in your world will make your foundations rock solid and all the sweeter.

Affirmation: My privilege is to honour my man, and appreciate the way he honours me in our relationship.

Now my loves, tell me what you’re feelings are about this. Tell me how masculine energy is allowed to manifest in your life and the ways it is used for the growth of your spirit and union. xo

Why Your Word Is Your Wand

Don’t say stuff you don’t mean. Or better yet…

click to tweetOnly speak of things you wish to create because you are paving your reality with your words.

// You really are.

How many people do you know use complaining as their standard way of conversing?

‘Oh isn’t the weather miserable?’ < insert heavy sigh here.

Years ago I made a firm commitment to step out of these kinds of situations but sometimes I get sucked into drama. I don’t make myself wrong for it, I just allow enough space for self-compassion and then press the re-set button.

So how do we learn to use our word as our wand in a world of contrasting vibrational set-points?

It’s easy!

+ First you promise yourself that you’re going to rise above the negative energy of others and don’t let it affect you.

+ Secondly, you stand guard at the doorway to your thoughts and re-frame all notions of resistance, rigidity and negativity and turn it into something softer and more manageable.

+ And thirdly, you learn to listen to yourself, take responsibility for what you say and trust that you are creating with your spoken word.

It rattles and buzzes the energy out to the correlating vibrations faster than a streak of weasel’s pee, so you need to learn to master yourself and your emotional outgoings to fully work the powers of the Law of Attraction.

Happy stuff attracts happy stuff and crappy stuff always attracts more crappy stuff.

It’s very simple.

So next time you’re about to have a grizzle about something, remember that your word is your wand. It’s covered in the fizziest of rainbow glitter that explodes with all sorts of creative and unlimited possibilities.

I promise that even if you just give up one of the things on the following list of 15 items, your life will change and you’ll start to feel more happy, healthy and hot in no time. Are you ready? Let’s begin.

You need to give up…

1. Approval seeking

The approval seeking cycle can run pretty deep in some people. Once you learn to see that what other people think of you is none of your business, then your life will begin to blossom and you can breathe a sigh of relief. Own your decisions, don’t second guess yourself and stand strong in your unique perspective on life.

Affirmation: I don’t need your approval. I am enough.

2. Blaming others

The ‘blame game’ can be a natural reflex for people that are always willing to point the finger and not assume responsibility for their role or involvement in certain events or (in most cases) family dramas. Blame is a toxic energy that harms your spirit and sticks to it like shit to a blanket. When you become aware of it and banish blame then you will feel so much lighter, happier and healthier.

Affirmation: I take responsibility for all of my actions.

3. Hanging onto the past

The inability to let go of your past is like keeping it alive in the present. Ask yourself if you want to lug around the same baggage year after year. Or do you want to live in the present moment where the magic happens?

Let it go.

Affirmation: I let go of my past and honour it for helping me to get where I am now.

4. Speaking with food in your mouth and eating too fast

This is a two-part mastication thing to give up. Poor table manners are not very hot. So if you have your mouth full of food then please refrain from speaking – this will make you look hotter than you could ever possibly look spraying burrito chunks all over the place as you are emphatically explaining the details of your day.

And two, slow the eff down and chew your food. All of the magical digestive enzymes that make it a hell of a lot easier on your stomach to break down the meal happen in your mouth before it descends down your gullet.

Affirmation: I eat with consciousness in order to nourish my temple.

5. Thinking you have to be perfect

You are perfect, just as you are. Yes, there are things you can do in order to improve the quality of your life but everything right now, in this very moment, is perfect.

Affirmation: In this moment, I am enough.

6. Judging and ‘shoulding’ on others

My Nana Mollie used to peel the banana from the non-stalk end – really it made no sense. When questioned she would say it’s ‘A way’ and not ‘THE way’ – meaning that there multiple ways to do things in life.

It is our own programming that makes us think we have things figured out better or more efficient than someone else. Actually, it’s pure arrogance to think we have the right to tell people how they should or shouldn’t behave.

Judgement of others is an inability to see that there are infinite perspectives and ways of doing things.

Affirmation: I accept others for who they are and keep my two-cents to myself.

7. Emotional manipulation

Ooh this is nasty. It can creep into your life as blackmail, silent war or most of all entitlement issues that make you feel like you’re allowed to play and toy with someone else’s feelings in order to get your own way.

“Change or I’ll leave you.”

“Grow up or it’s over.”

Ultimatums are very common ways people emotionally manipulate others. And they don’t work, 

Sadly, we know the buttons to push within our loved ones and sometimes when we don’t feel very good about ourselves we know how to go in for the kill and push them in order to get our own way. Sometimes emotional manipulation is so well hidden you don’t even know it’s there.

Affirmation: I promise to remove any and all traces of being a sociopath for the greater good of the people around me – especially my loved ones.

8. Addiction to drama

Oh my god! OMG! Are you serious? Are you effing kidding me? She did what? Oh no she didn’t!

Yes life can be dramatic. As Shakespeare once said:

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”

Being overly dramatic can have serious effects on your life. You get drawn into energy that doesn’t belong to you. You thrive off business that doesn’t belong to you. Lose the drama.

Affirmation: I refuse to unleash my inner drama queen, instead I choose to focus on energy that serves me.

9. Ignoring your intuition

You know, the gut feeling that tells you to follow your heart or avoid a certain path. You need to stop ignoring your inner whispers and listen to the voices (unless they’re saying crazy stuff). By following your intuition you all for things to manifest a lot more easily into your reality. 

Affirmation: I honour and cherish my intuition.

10. Hiding your dreams from your loved ones

Is you vision board hiding under the bed, or behind the door? Own your intentions. You don’t have to trumpet them to the world with a megaphone, but not expressing your desires to your loved ones is a powerful affirmation to the Universe that you’re not ready to receive your wishes. Manifesting requires fearless bravery. 

Affirmation: I am worthy of my goals, dreams, wishes and desires.

11. Feeling the need to be right

Very dear friends of mine introduced me to this question: Would you rather be right or would you rather be in love?

When you let go of your stubbornness and focus on agreeing to disagree you have just discovered the magic recipe for relationship harmony.

Affirmation: I would rather be in love than right.

12. Limiting beliefs, labels and statistics

You might have been told that the odds aren’t good, something isn’t likely to happen or that the statistics aren’t in your favour. Rise above it and hold the belief that anything is possible. Miracles happen every day.

Affirmation: I am a limitless being and anything is possible.

13. Control and safety

Seeking safety and control in the various areas of our life can be extremely cumbersome. It can show up as imbalance in relationships, weird obsessive behaviours and depression. Letting go of the need to be in charge all the time and comfortable can be the quickest path to liberation.

Affirmation: I release the need for control and it feels amazing.

14. Seeking happiness externally

Nothing can make you happy, you choose it from within. It’s not anyone’s responsibility to make you feel a sense of happiness.

Affirmation: I am responsible for my own happiness.

15. Not jumping out of your comfort zone

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Just jump.

Affirmation: I am open to new adventures in my life.

The start of a new year usually prompts people to desire to make profound changes in their life. The typical resolutions revolve around things like weight loss, quitting something like smoking or sugar, being a better person or saving more money – you know the drill.

The truth is that most people shoot themselves in the foot before they even begin, mostly because of the way they phrase their intentions, feel about their intentions and ultimately act on their intentions.

Each year I spend a few hours using the following 5-step process to map out my goals, dreams, wishes and desires for the coming year. For the last 4 consecutive years I’d say that over 80% of the things on the list have manifested or materialised into my reality.

This year we bought a third puppy, moved to the beach, are expecting a baby girl in a few months after 5 consecutive miscarriages, launched new brands, published a new book, attracted various awesome opportunities, travelled to LA for Sean’s 30th birthday, won 2 legal disputes and the list goes on.

The secret to the list I wrote at the end of last year was that I wrote down how I wanted to feel about each item and the experience, buzz or thrill it would give me and the impact it would have on others.

So here is the 5-step process I use to get into the feeling space with setting intentions no matter what time of year it is…

Step 0: Give yourself some space – approximately 30 minutes or so of uninterrupted time just for you. You’ll need a pen, some paper, a notebook or a worksheet. You might also want a nice glass of wine or a soothing cup of tea.

Step 1: Meditate for 10 minutes to clear your heart/mind. Use this invocation:

“May I now be given a clear space within my mind/body/spirit complex to connect with my heart’s truest desires. May I now tune into the greater good for my higher self and allow for my goals, dreams, wishes and desires to flow onto paper.”

Step 2: Itemise the things/experiences you want to create for yourself. Start with 7, or more if you can.

Step 3: Beside each thing or experience write how you would feel when they manifested or you achieved your intention. Would you feel freedom? Would you feel loved? Powerful? Courageous? Sexy? Fierce? Empowered?

Step 4: Action items. Now write one thing you could take action on within the next week that would start the ball rolling in the direction of your goals, dreams, wishes and desires.

Step 5: Trust and surrender. Let it go. Put your list away for a while and hold the essence of the feelings you’re trying to create in your heart as you move forward with the year.

Want more of this stuff? Sign up to the mailing list below to be the first to find out when the new version of my wildly popular course called MANIFEST is launching in early 2015.

Happy intention setting! xo

Ever wondered why people say sorry for certain things when there really is no need to apologize? Or have you ever had someone dismiss you and belittle your feelings saying that they’re not valid or relevant? Well here’s a list of the 10 Things You Should Never Apologize For.

I’m not sorry and you shouldn’t be either for…

1. How you feel

Expressing the way you feel (and I mean really feel about something) is a gift. When you tell someone about the way you feel on a certain subject you should never think twice about apologising for expressing your personal perspective. That is, unless it’s harmful to the other person or intended to manipulate the situation. Letting people know where you’re at and how you feel is so important. If you don’t express your true feelings then they get swept under the carpet and you get sick. Seriously, they will fester and implode within your soul like a stink bomb.

AFFIRMATION: It is safe for me to express my truth and the way that I feel.

2. What makes you laugh

Your sense of humour is your own set-point of uniqueness. The beauty of the human condition is that there are so many beautiful types of humor and no ‘one size fits all’ solution. Whether you laugh at poo jokes, videos of kittens or even Japanese signs with amusing English translation failures – always be unapologetic for what makes you giggle. Life is funny. 

AFFIRMATION: The things that amuse me feed my soul.

3. What you believe in

This should be a deal breaker in relationships. Yes, we know that the fine art of conversation means avoiding the themes of politics or religion – however, if you have to say sorry for what you believe in, no matter what it is, you’re moving in the wrong circles. You have 100% permission to believe in whatever you wish as long as you don’t intentionally hurt people in order to prove a point.

AFFIRMATION: My beliefs are my own and the compass for my soul.

4. Your past

Yes, you might have done a turd and mailed it to a high school bully. Yes, it might have been nearly 20 years ago – however no one can make you say sorry for the silly stuff you did in the past. Unless, it was illegal or the overwhelming need for some sort of exchange of forgiveness to take place.

On the other hand you might have been dating two guys at once when you were younger and your present husband brings it up in fights. The basic rule is this…when something happens before you’re in someone’s life, then technically it has nothing to do with them.

AFFIRMATION: The past is over, the memories are pretty funny though.

5. Your future and your dreams

Never apologise for your dreams or what you want for your future. However, make room for compromise if you are in a long term situation with others so that you’re not appearing to be totally self-involved. Make your dreams happen, never apologise for dreaming.

AFFIRMATION: I allow myself to create an amazing future.

6. Your body or your weight

If you’re apologising for the way your body looks then stop it. You need to own your body –  the shape, the texture, the fact that it keeps you alive and HONOUR IT. Saying sorry to someone because you’re too big, too small, too green…whatever…is harmful to your heart. If someone can’t love you enough to know that perfection is mythical, then they need their soul Photoshopped. 

AFFIRMATION: I am enough.

7. Your children

Unless they are throwing their own poo around in a restaurant or yelling out vulgarities to others, then never apologise for your children. Kids are supposed to behave like kids. And if you do encounter the grouch that speaks up and makes you feel like you need to apologise for your children then gently remind them that they once were kids too.

AFFIRMATION: Kids are vibrant, messy, loud, beautiful souls that need space to be creative.

8. How much you earn

Money is a sore spot and a tender subject for a lot of people. Never feel the need to apologise for earning too much or not earning enough. Money is an exchange for energy, that’s all. So when you’re saying sorry for having too little or even too much, then you are making a very powerful affirmation to the Universe to cease the flow of abundance.

AFFIRMATION: It is safe for me to allow more abundance into my life and feel comfortable to share my wealth when it flows with ease.

9. Your personal/emotional boundaries

You draw the line when it comes to saying something isn’t okay. We should all learn to assert our boundaries and not be apologetic for our decisions that enforce our own emotional safety.

AFFIRMATION: It’s okay, when I say it’s okay.

10. Your sexuality

This one should be the most obvious, kind of like apologising for your skin colour. No matter what your sexual orientation is, you must never need to apologise to someone because of it unless it’s used in the context of ‘Sorry, I’m flattered but I’m a lesbian.’

AFFIRMATION: My sexuality never needs to be explained.

Hope you enjoyed these! If you LOVED this and want more then check out: 10 Spiritual Things You Should Never Apologize For.


(LAW OF ATTRACTION BOOSTER KIT): If you’d like to know how to really set a powerful intention and help it to manifest faster, then you might love my Ancient Manifesting Ritual. This is part of the deep work that I did in order to clear my past and move forward into the future, one present moment at a time.

Law of Attraction Ritual

 

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